Hermione Should Have Been RavenClaw
by Allen KrittleSmith
Summary: Harry Potter asks Hermione for paired auditions and just goes very natural. Hmph, just read, its short...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Annoying stuff:**

So Yeah, this is chapter one, no foulmouthed flames, I'm giving you my outline:

The school holds a play (Romeo & Juliet) during... September-October time, and Dolores is away to report for the minister. Hermione takes Dean for couple's audition and Harry asks, Hermione downheartedly says no, in an attempt to make him jealous. Unfortunately, Dean goes gay for seamus and well... MENTAL BLOCK, nothing next yet, but read & enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter.

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><p>Chapter 1: Jealousy Please<p>

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><p>'Mione, please, just– Oh, will you talk to me… C'mon, just give me a sec, you've talked to five other guys now, <em>please<em>…' the tanned, six packed boy pleaded to the brown-bushy haired girl. She was obviously focused on a folder rather than be quidditch-bothered by Professor Binns' drones or get fussed over Harry's ramblings. When the girl had had enough, she faced the boy and said: 'Kai, what do you want?' The boy steadied himself and took a deep breath, then answered: 'I-I, will you be my Juliet?'

The girl was flushed and stared at her lap, bit her lip and waited for Harry to catch up: 'No! Not like that! I mean, for the p-play… Please.' The boy tried his best puppy-eyed look he can do, the girl blushed at the sight of this, but the girl replied mournfully: 'I, I-I, Harry, I said yes to Dean Thomas, I'm so sorry-'

_Rrring…_ The class bell rang and that signalled the students to wake up and Professor Binns to glide through the blackboard. 'I'm so sorry Harry…' Hermione tried to control her bewilderment at saying no. In truth, Hermione had intended for this to happen, and her plan to make Harry jealous was, in truth, failing.

'Harry, please, just… I'm truly sorry' she took a deep breath, then said: 'Am I right that at the end of the play, Juliet kisses Romeo? (Harry hid a smile) Well, I'm about to promise that, that, I'll kiss you after performance, if I get the part, of course.' Hermione ran ahead of Harry, to their next class, Transfiguration class.

'… for reverting objects made to look like its true form, to what it truly is…' Professor McGonagall reached for a silver cup, used a counter-spell for the charm she put on the magpie earlier to turn into a cup, it did not work, 'Instead of that class, I will be teaching you to use this spell; Recantem Veritatis.' She reached for the cup again, and said: 'Recantem Veritatis!'

Instantly, silver and green wisps of light touched the rim of the cup, then a loud _squawk!_, Harry took a glance at Hermione- who immediately returned the glance, then both turned away, and the cup was magically back into a magpie.

The Ravenclaws were left astonished, as the Gryffindors cheered for their Head of House.

The rest of the day was pretty boring with Snape, substitute for Dolores Umbridge, who promised a return before Christmas, made them copy _all_ the Principles of Magical Defence.

Back at the Gryffindor common room, Harry, Hermione and Ron were nestled on their favourite, large, dilapidated armchair. 'What are up with you two?' Ron said, eyeing Harry and Hermione, who were both staring at the fireplace. 'Nothing' Harry and Hermione answered, utterly perplexed at Ron noticing their attitudes. Hermione stood up, crossed the room, and sat next to Ginny, who was reading Witches' Weekly.

'… _Hermione, Ugh*… Don't take your eyes of the book… Argh! He's staring at me, hmph, just walk over, and act like you've promised nothing…' _Hermione thought, she was surprised that her feet had taken her halfway across the room unconsciously, Harry not taking his eyes off hers. 'Have you seen who my partner is lately snogging?' Hermione pointed to Harry's left to Dean and Seamus, enjoying each other's lips.

'So, y-you're still auditioning with him?' Harry dared to ask. Hermione grimaced at the gay couple on the left then said: 'Yeah, of course, you? Who're you auditioning with?' Hermione's eyes wandered below Harry's belt. 'Luna, Luna Lovegood' Harry said, rising from his seat, with his wand stiff, and throbbing.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's** Ramblings: **By the time you read this, the first ones probably been edited... And I'm sorta working on an original story, plus, it'll go to LiveJournal... Kai.

Disclaimer: Inever owned Harry Potter, but in my dreams, I would.

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><p>Chapter 2: Oblivious Thoughts<p>

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><p>Hermione lay awake on her bed thinking about how many disappointments she'd had with herself. She had invited Harry to knit House-Elf hats with her on the night Ron got into the Quidditch team. <em>After all, it was a bad idea, <em>she thought, _And he was thinking about the pain on his scar, I should have just comforted him rather than use my effing SPEW. _She had enjoyed herself last term, and she lay a little longer on her bed thinking about it:

_Oh, what should I do... _the tempted witch in charge of Harry's medication thought, _Well I've seen some before. Oh, but only in anatomical books..._ The girl watching over Harry - who lay naked on a bed, whose organ was barely covered by a blue bowl - was pushed to her limits. She laid her book, _Evolution of Magic_, book down and unconsciously strode towards Harry's bed. She bent low over the bowl, her bushy lockes barely touching Harry's skin. She would not take her eyes off his face.

Harry shifted his head. Hermione pulled back slightly over him. Slowly, she cluthed the frame of the blue bowl, lifted it carefully and-

'Hermione! What are you doing!' a perplexed Ron cried.

Hermione felt nauseous, she felt so embarassed. _Oh my god, _she thought, _is it really that big?_ 'U-uh, experimentation...?' she stuttered. Harry opened an eye partially to check if he can wake. Harry rose to see Hermione's hands next to his balls, her fingertips nearly brushing his pubes, and her eyes bloodshot on it. He said: 'H-Hermione, w-what are-you-doing?' Hermione fled out of the room, fully aware of what was happening, she thought, _At least I saw most of him, his Quidditch-worked chest, tanned calves. Oh, Hermione stop it!_

Meanwhile, back at the infirmary, the dazed Harry hurriedly put on his pyjamas, without his boxers - just in case, and just as he was buttoning his shirt, Madame Pomfrey burst into the room screeching: 'What in the world are you doing?' And her screams as loud as Sirius' mother she continued: 'Where the hell is that girl? She should have applied that ointment half an hour ago! Drink this boy!' As she said these last words she lifted a bubbling green salve to Harry's lips. Harry felt the sticky solution slide down his throat before he heard no more.

Hermione lay awake on her bed sweaty and wet with something from down below. She had relived that day entirely in her dreams, just without the part where he Obliviated Harry. She could have trusted Ron. She _had_ to talk with Harry, and she lay a little longer on her bed awake:

Three days after the incident, Harry ran straight to the library, the place where he would find Hermione. He had skipped Snape's class just to talk to her about what had happened. _Aisle three..., _Harry thought, surprised at finding no Hermione present, he slumped on the left bookshelf.

_How much could she have seen? _Harry thought, wondering at how she would rate his. He got insecure and worried, _Had she seen others?_ Is it too small? He clutched his zipper - _Nobody's here... Good. _He stuffed his hand in and observed the organ in his hands. He thought it big enough, but still uncontented, he observed it for a few more minutes. He zipped his pants up again. Hermione came up the aisle carrying a pile of books covering her forehead. _Erghm! _Harry grunted, but disappointed at Hermione's inaction. _Erghm! _Hermione still wouldn't notice. 'Ahem, if your trying to avoid me, just tell me OK?' Harry said finally. Hermione was startled, she stumbled and was almost face to face with Harry's groin, she tried to run but got caught by the shoulders.

'Talk to me Hermione.' he said, 'Err... How much did you see? W-well, Was it... you know, err, up to _standards_?' 'U-uh, Harry, well, it's the first I've seen, so well... It's _pretty big.' _Hermione replied, feeling Harry's insecurity growing. 'It's probably bigger than Ron's...' Hermione added.

'Err... Well Ron _is _taller.' Harry said, confidence growing.

'Well I suppose, but... Your feet are bigger?'

'Aha! So you do think mine's bigger!' Harry exclaimed with an expression of triumph on his face.

'Well, maybe yours is _substantially bigger, _and I'll never look at Ron's' Hermione concluded, whose face was blushing hotly.

'You have to give me something in return,' Hermione looked worried, 'Or actually, _show_, me.'

'Show you what?' Hermione asked, stammering now she said, 'Y-Y-You m-mean m-my, m-m-m-y ...'

'No, No! Your breasts.'

'Y-You m-mean b-boobs for a penis ...'

Hermione felt nauseous for the second time, her head grew heavier, her consciousness wavered, then she turned to Harry again, and said, 'Well, a-about, 10 seconds?'

Harry thought foe half a moment, then replied, '15, to get it over with.'

'Ten, or none at all. Deal?'

'Deal.'

Harry's nervous feelings grew. Then as Hermione was unbuttoning her dress, Harry could almost sense her squirming and raving inside.

'One.'

Harry was surprised she counted at once, he wanted to exclaim but Hermione said,

'Three.'

He had surprised he had skipped a number. _Four. _He looked at her chest more intently now. _Five. _He looked at the beautiful, kisses sloped breasts. _Six. _Those milky white teardops.

'Seven.'

'Eight.'

Harry's arousal grew quick, but too late. _Nine_. He stammered to say he wasn't ready yet just as Hermione said,

'Ten.'

'I-I wasn't ready yet! P-please, err... Hermione, I-I'll...' He forced himself to think of something, he couldn't think it was then when Hermione hurriedly buttoned her blouse and walked unsteadily out of the aisle.

'Hermione!' Harry called out to a girl that seemed too distant, but Hermione turned and spoke aloud,

'If you want to see more, Harry, you... should show _me _first. Kai?' Hermione took a step forward and pointed her wand at Harry.

_Obliviate!_


End file.
